Colour Bruise
by sserpente
Summary: Imagine your faction gets destroyed and you end up homeless. Imagine you are forced to share your life with people who value what you were taught is wrong. And imagine that the only person there is left for you to love will, sooner or later, kill you.
1. Prologue

**Heyho there & welcome!**

Before you start reading, here's a few things you should know about:

\- This story is set one year after Divergent, however, I will change most happenings after as well as some trifles concerning the first book/movie.  
\- Movie Eric. I have a huge crush on Jai Courtney, deal with it.  
\- Rated M for language, sexual content and violence.  
\- I've developed this bad habit of uploading a story during busy times. Updates miiiight be irregular for the upcoming weeks.

 **Disclaimer:**

All characters and places from the Divergent series belong to Veronica Roth. I only own my OC's as well as the plot and/or events that do not resemble the original story. No re-posting of any kind without my consent.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **Colour bruise**

 **Prologue**

Cool darkness blinded me, my unknown environment accompanied by the silent bleeping of several technical devices and the occasional rustling of itchy bed sheets. Nothing familiar, nothing for me to recognise my surroundings. It was all pitch black. _Am I dead?_

"How many survivors are there?"

Heaven was different. I had always imagined it bright, with harp-playing angels lulling me to sleep on my very own soft cloud in the blue and endless sky, close to space and the stars. Instead, I was covered in uncomfortable blankets, some nerve-wracking tinnitus disturbing my dreams.

"I'm not sure."

The people talking, I figured, sounded concerned, almost devastated. Silent footsteps followed.

"Maybe fifty, including all those who were not present in the faction when the fire broke out."

 _Fire?_

It was two women. One of them calm and talking rather slowly, the other one flustered and depressed but both unmistakably nervous.

"Not more?" she hesitantly replied as if each and every word she chose would cause her physical pain.

They both silenced for a second and I guessed the response must have been a simple nod as I heard footsteps once again, this time more heavy and almost determined, heading to where I lay.

I tried to clear my throat in a weak attempt to catch their attention, immediately regretting the action as hot pain shot through my upper body, causing me to moan mutely. I gritted my teeth, grimacing while trying to regain control over my body. _Try again._ My eyes fluttered open, observing countless tiles on a grey ceiling above me.

 _Where am I?_

"Don't you think they will make it? All of them?" the first woman spoke again. I peered at her, recognising a white tunic and a stethoscope around her neck, almost hidden beneath her blonde hair. She was pretty, unlike the other woman in the rather dim lit room. I watched her shake her head in a sad manner before I spotted her black clothing and pale skin, matching the greasy black streaks in her long hair. A tattoo of a black snake flaunted on her right arm, slithering when she moved it. There was no doubt she was Dauntless.

"Most of them had life-threatening injuries when we brought them here. No doctor can cure those kinds of burnings. Not even you, Cat."

"Do not call me that."

I tried to clear my throat once more, this time only flinching at the nasty pain. Burnings. Did I have burnings? From that fire? I swallowed hard, ignoring that my throat stung as well in the process.

"However, I think you are right for a change. I won't be able to cure third-degree burnings without the respective medicine. Some of them probably won't even survive the night, as much as I wish for everyone to be healed." The blonde woman sighed. "Hello…" she then added when she finally noticed me being awake and curiously staring at her. I opened my mouth to reply but there was nothing but a pathetic squeak passing my lips.

"Don't try to speak. You have severe burnings on your back and feet and escaped a serious fume poisoning by a hairbreadth. Do you remember anything that happened?" I shook my head no, waiting for her to continue. She sighed once more before she sat down right next to me, eyeing me sadly as she did.

"Don't worry. It's just the painkillers. You will be able to recall everything in a couple of days the latest. All I can tell you now is that there was an explosion in your faction. At first, only the headquarters were affected but something must have triggered some kind of chain reaction, blowing up the entire faction."

I gasped for air in shock, biting my lower lip while ice cold fear crawled up my body. _My little sister. Is she here? She's only twelve._

"You are in a hospital in Erudite right now. We will tell you everything when you get better." _If_ you get better – that's what she actually meant.

I pressed my lips together, trying to fight back the hot tears which were burning in my eyes. _You will_ not _cry. Never again._

The Dauntless woman next to Cat, as she called her, crossed her arms, grimacing at the very sight of me. _I must look real bad._ I tried to speak again, opening my mouth in an almost effortless attempt. Cat lifted her hand.

"Don't."

"Maybe she's got something important to say, Cat."

"Don't be silly, Jewel."

Jewel. That was an odd name and it didn't suit her appearance at all. But she was right. I had something important to say. I wanted to ask them about my little sister. I needed to know if she was okay.

For all I knew right now, my home had been destroyed. I was factionless.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Now let's see where this will take us. My final exams are being a bitch so I can't promise updates too soon, however, I'm already working on more, so stay tuned!**

 **Criticism, reviews and tips appreciated, I won't bite (hard)!**

 **Love, Stef  
**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Heyho there my lovelies! Damn, there's so many clicks already, that's insane!**

 **As for me, school's officially over... _forever_ , I passed my final exams, I'm so relieved! I wish you guys loads of fun reading! :***

* * *

 _He was going to break my heart and yet, I was too blind to not give in. I fell for him. Even if that meant that the man who would kill me was the last person I had ever loved._

 **Chapter 1**

My toes dug into the green grass beneath me as a sigh escaped my lips. Cat – or, her real name she noticeably preferred, Catherine – had been right. It had taken two days until I remembered the hot flames embracing our house, the recent happenings repeating themselves in my head like a Ferris wheel. _I am Greta Jones, twenty years old and a successful lawyer. My faction is Candor. No. My faction_ was _Candor._ I remembered the deafening sound of an explosion quivering the grounds of Candor and I remembered my little sister screaming in agony as the fire got a hold of her, covering her in deadly heat and burning her black and white striped dress before the flames started to lick on her pale skin. They swallowed her as a whole, leaving nothing but the repulsive smell of human flesh behind.

My back still hurt. Although Catherine was the most skilled doctor I had ever met in my life, the large scars on my neck and also my ankles would probably stay forever, remind me of the loss of my family, my home and basically my whole life every time I looked in the mirror.

Still barefoot, I headed straight to one of the larger ruins of Abnegation, making myself comfortable on a huge rock outlying the rest of what was left of us – I only recognised some of them as I hadn't even bothered to find out who else had survived.

We had been living here with the Stiff for about two weeks now. Although the attack on Abnegation enacted by Divergents only laid back a couple of months, its selfless people remained helpful. They provided us with food, clothes and shared their extemporary shelters with us.

I stared down at the simple grey clothes I was wearing. Their former owner must have been a giant. It felt like being covered in a big bin bag made of linen. I tugged at the boring fabric of my skirt.

Erudite had told us about the circumstances by now. About the explosion, the exact reason of its occurrence still unknown. It had melted down the fuses of the _Merciless Mart_ connecting electricity in all households of Candor. Then, the gas conductions broke and in the twinkling of an eye, the fire was everywhere. So many people had lost their lives that day, even more than when Abnegation was attacked. Among them my little sister. My boyfriend. Lucas had been with Jack Kang when it happened and I could only hope his death had been painless and fast.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the deafening silence around me while my naked feet drew circles on the dusty rock I was sitting on. It was little short of a miracle that I was still alive. It seemed impossible but after I had lost consciousness, there was nothing else I could remember. For all I knew, Dauntless members were able to save at least a few of us.

Today, they wanted us to gather in the Hub to find a lasting _solution._ I sneered at the very thought of it. How could there be a solution? My faction was destroyed, its people wiped from existence like nothing. Day by day, Erudite sent out more Dauntless members to the ruins of our faction to search for any more signs of living within the shattered walls of the once so intimidating glass buildings but there was no news. None that I would know about.

"Greta! We're gonna be late!"

Sighing desperately, I wiped invisible dust of my clothes before I got up to change. I had one thing left reminding me of my faction. It was a dress, black and white, representing Candor to the fullest. My sister had owned the same one. We'd bought it together because it had reminded us of piano tiles. I had heard a lot of stories about pianos and talented musicians playing them, their fingers neatly flying over the tiles and creating enchanting music. Only once in my life my sister and I had been able to listen to the golden sounds of it. It was a trip to Amity with our father, the only place they still occasionally used musical instruments.

Enjoying the feeling of the moist grass under my soles, I made my way back to the place I had been sleeping for the last two weeks. The dress was well hidden under my pillow. Apart from Charlene, another survivor and also a former classmate of mine as well as the Abnegation girl who had offered to wash it for me, nobody knew I still had it. Now they would find out.

I slipped out of my boring Abnegation clothes and quickly replaced them with the dress, gazing at the black ballerinas in the corner of the shelter. They would leave the burning marks on my ankles visible but it was yet at lot more convenient than wearing the grey sneakers Abnegation used to put on. Those would only scratch my wounds open again and since that already happened once last week, I knew that I certainly didn't want to risk the sharp pain again.

"Are you ready?" Charlene took my hand as we both followed the others outside to the train station. I nodded, scolding myself for lying to the only friend I had left. But I wasn't. I wasn't ready at all.

"I'm scared." She whispered hardly audible, squeezing my hand so tight it almost hurt. "Where is all of this going? First Abnegation, now Candor. All those dead people. Who is next?"

I shook my head, trying not to think about it. I never did because I never cried. I hadn't cried since my parents' death two years ago. I suffered silently, when everybody around me was sleeping. When the nightmares came and dreams about fire demons and scorched corpses stole my sleep.

"I don't know." I replied, sighing once more as we got on the dirty train. When it started to move in the direction of the centre of Chicago, it felt like I was heading straight towards my execution.

* * *

Candor was my rightful place. Or maybe not. It was honesty that made out its people but I had always been determined to keep my secrets. After initation and lying to myself to believe in truths that weren't mine, I swore to myself I would never trust anyone but my sister. I didn't want people to know about my deepest thoughts, fears and dreams. With my aptitude test resulting in Erudite, I had only decided to stay in Candor because of my parents. Now it was their legacy and apart from that, somebody had had to look out for my sister. I couldn't have possibly left her with a foster family, let alone in an orphanage. The faction system was strict. Candor was strict. What if they'd have sent her away to the factionless because she was a redundant remnant of a broken family?

Still, I didn't wish for this place to be destroyed. It was home, after all. Far too honest but home. I had learned not to give a shit about people who didn't approve on my opinion, had been raised to be proud of my ability to think about something a certain way. And I had learned how to hide a secret, how to get away with lies. Nobody was able see through me. Ever.

Charlene let go of my hand when we arrived at the endless staircase of the Hub. A jam formed in front of the doors of the elevator. Rolling my eyes, I tilted my head towards the stairs, asking her to follow me.

Normally, this was the place the choosing ceremonies were held. Although I knew back then that my life would continue the way it was after I had stepped down the aisle to drop my blood into one of the metal bowls, I had been nervous. My hands were sweaty, my whole body was trembling from excitement.

Charlene and I reached the aisle as one of the last ones, looking around for free seats in the colourful crowd. They were all present. Amity, Erudite, Dauntless, a few Abnegation and what was left of Candor. It felt just like another choosing ceremony when we dropped into some free seats next to a rather obese Erudite member. But today was different. None of us knew what would happen. Whether we would end up factionless or join Abnegation in the ruins of their former houses permanently.

"Good morning, faction members." I looked up with my lips curled to see Jeanine Matthews standing in front of the huge table in the middle of the hall, the bowls on it empty and clean. Although I hardly ever saw and let alone personally knew her, my aversion towards her was aggressively huge. My gaze drifted over the blue dress she was wearing down to her thin high heels clattering on the marble floor beneath her as she walked around, waiting for everybody to listen up.

Eventually, they did. "As we all gathered here today, it is my belief that I speak for each member of our society when I say that we are terribly sorry for this recent MCA our fellow inhabitants of Candor had to face." _MCA._ Was that what she liked to call it now? Maximum credible accident? It was more than that. This was just the scientific expression for all the devastation within these "safe" walls of the city. I swallowed hard, clenching my fists until they felt numb.

"We are incredibly sorry for the losses you made and will therefore promise to work hard as the unit we are to build your faction, your home, up again." And it would take ages. Charlene bit her lower lip as she threw me a desperate look. She seemed to think the exact same thing.

"Being the last survivors of your faction, you have all right to know what caused this awful explosion. And while Erudite and Dauntless are trying everything in our power to analyse the exact circumstances, what we can tell you for now is that the Divergents celebrated yet another victory."

All of a sudden, heated mumbling washed over the hall like a wave. _Divergents._ A few months back, I hadn't even known they existed. People who didn't fit into one of our factions only but more. Jeanine had told us they were dangerous. That they were the ones who had plotted the attack on Abnegation. I, however, didn't know what to believe. I was a suspicious person by nature but I was also pretty sure that many of those Divergents desperately wished to be normal, like us.

Jeanine continued talking after the whispers had stopped again.

"Nonetheless, we will not give in. We will continue to fight and defeat them to ensure a safe life within our faction system. As for you, Candor members, it is now of importance that we keep you integrated. Therefore, we have decided it would be best for all of us to uphold each other when we put you in the spare places of the remaining factions as you have all right to continue your lives."

Integrate us. Spare places. Remaining factions. It took a while until my brain had processed Jeanine's words. Once I understood, Charlene and all the others raised their voices to debate once more, this time even more excited than before. My heart skipped a beat when I realised what this meant. They wanted us to live with another faction. How? And why hadn't they decided to do the same thing for Abnegation when _their_ homes had been destroyed? Jeanine and the rest of Erudite might didn't like them too much because they had longed for their position in government but her settlement was against human nature.

Again, Charlene seemed to share my thoughts. She squeezed my hand in fear about what was to come. There was more behind this _solution._ Determination and angst rushed through me.

I counted. We were only forty-three people. Forty-three people who had survived the explosion, the fire, me among them. Jeanine explained what would happen next. One by one, they called out our names and we were to step forward and join our "new" temporary faction. It all went by so fast it was impossible for me to follow. Charlene's hand almost squashed my fingers in the process.

"Mary Figg. Erudite."

I was wondering what system they were going after. Was it random? Hardly. Jeanine was an Erudite, they had to go after some kind of order, if not the alphabetical one.

"Robert Stratford. Amity."

I might end up in Amity, too. Both my parents had transferred from there, after all.

"Celsay Higgins, Dauntless."

Or I joined Erudite. Being an invention of Jeanine herself, the aptitude test and thus its results were accessible to her at any time given.

"Greta Jones."

My heart jumped when I heard my name. Hesitantly, I stood up, walked into the middle of the hall and waited for the Erudite man to continue. Breathing regularly was long forgotten when he assigned me to my new home. Maybe I would be able to forget about the pain while harvesting fruits and vegetables in the sun, laughing with Amity members and wearing bright colours. My plans to make my situation bearable, however, failed completely before they even had a chance to thrive.

"Dauntless."

* * *

No familiar faces. Nobody I identified with. After I had regained the ability to breathe, I bit my lower lip so hard I tasted blood. My fingers dug into my palms, leaving ugly imprints on them.

I didn't feel the hands clapping on my back to welcome me, didn't feel the looks I was given from both Charlene and some curious Dauntless members.

There was no way I could fit in here or live here as a remnant of Candor. They were soldiers, trained to obey rules and commands.

"Charlene Edwards, Amity."

Dauntless were messy, reckless and careless. I felt like throwing up, looked around the hall to search for any fellow Candor members apart from Charlene who was now joining a group of red and yellow-dressed Amity members and immediately pulled into a tight hug by Johanna, their leader.

"Alexander Brown, Erudite."

* * *

Fourty-three. That meant that at least fourteen of us would join Dauntless as well. I gazed around to spot Jack Kang's assistant. She was young, beautiful and used to wear a similar dress to mine. Now, she was wrapped in some boring Abnegation clothes that hid her female curves to the fullest.

"Katherine Johnson, Amity."

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down at least a bit. _You will join Dauntless._ The only faction I had always known I would never want to be a part of. The fire had already taken my innocent little sister, ripped my heart apart and stole my home from me. I doubted I would survive in an environment I despised, taking orders and obeying absurd rules. As a lawyer, it was usually me telling people and co-workers what to do. I liked being independent and having it my way. Back in school, it always got me into trouble.

"Are you ok?"

Looking to my left, I realised a young man touching my shoulder, a worried expression on his face.

"Marvel."

He wore a white Candor jacket combined with some grey pants from Abnegation. Grey sneakers completed his unusual outfit. Before I was able to reply anything more, he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes. Marvel and I had been close to what one would call friends in school. After initiation, we had both lost sight of each other but still shared occasional conversations when our paths crossed in the _Merciless Mart_. Now they used to.

"I'm not even close to okay." I murmured honestly, enjoying the smell of lemon in his jacket. Some Abnegation member must have washed it for him as well.

"I know. Me neither. But we will make it. I know we will."

I didn't doubt for a second that Marvel would make it in Dauntless. Unlike me, he was well-built and submissive if needed. We didn't share a lot of similarities apart from our black hair and brown eyes. Reluctantly, I let go of him, sighing and resting my head on his shoulder while listening to the rest of us being assigned to a strange new life. The last names of a married couple were being called, the pain in my chest growing almost unbearable.

"Candors, we wish you all the luck to come to terms with this crisis and we want you all to remember that we are here to support you. Faction before blood!"

"Faction before blood." A choir repeated after Jeanine. And that was it. People rose from their chairs, starting conversations and forming groups to leave the Hub like nothing ever happened. Like this had been some normal event. I grabbed Marvel's forearm to keep him close while all the Dauntless members around us started to push themselves towards the exit, dragging us straight with them.

Did they expect us to jump on a train to reach their headquarters? They couldn't. The burnings on my ankles would prevent me from jumping more than a few couple of inches. Marvel crossed his fingers with mine so he wouldn't lose me in the wild crowd. Once we reached outside, I let out a relieved sigh, realising that the train had indeed stopped for us to board it this time.

It would take us away. Away from what was left of Candor, away from the Hub and away from the ruins of Abnegation where I had temporarily found my peace every time I hid far away on my rock, grieving silently and trying to remember every little detail of my sister when she was laughing, crying or pondering on homework.

I swallowed hard, looking over a hairy Dauntless member with green hair helping me onto the train as one of the last ones. Marvel slung his arm around my waist when it took off. He mirrored my expression. We were worried. And we were scared.

* * *

 **A/N: I _promise_ , Eric will show up in the next chapter. I guess got a little... carried away! Anyway, let me know what you think ******in the comments!****

 **Love, Stef**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey there my lovelies! I hope you're having a great week. As usual - have fun reading!**

* * *

Weeks. Months. Years. I would spend more than just a few days in Dauntless and I would have to adapt in the long term. Adapt to a lifestyle that equalled a suicide mission and valued ideals I disagreed with, even despised. This time, it was me almost squashing somebody's fingers – I held Marvel's hand so tight I would have taken him for an Abnegation since he did not complain once.

"What do you think will they be like?"

"Who? Dauntless?" I shrugged, raising my eyebrows and secretly thanking my childhood friend for the distraction. "Well, you've seen them doing… whatever they're doing. They're all mad. I picture most of them as tough guys with insane muscles, tattoos and piercings all over their body. Big, bad and evil. People you wouldn't want to meet in an empty hallway."

He chuckled as a reply, though it sounded more like a pathetic grunt.

When the train stopped, we followed our new faction members in front of us down some sinister back alley which soon revealed a huge metal door. One of the entrances to Dauntless? I gasped for air when the valves opened and even more Dauntless members stormed out in the open, former Candor members among them frantically looking for their families. _Faction before blood_ only seemed to work for Jeanine herself, after all.

I spotted Christina the second she pulled me in a tight hug, nearly knocking me off my feet. I knew her. She was only three years younger than me and we used to chat when our parents, being neighbours back then, met up for a coffee to debate about politics and life in Chicago a couple of times a week.

Now the desperate look on her face and the sad sparkling in her eyes almost broke my already shattered heart again. It felt like there were only bloody shards of it left in my body. Every single move hurt from the inside out.

She didn't need to ask the question and I didn't have to answer it. I remembered her parents' names; and I definitely would have recognised them among the other survivors back in former Abnegation or when they assigned us to our new factions the latest.

"I'm so sorry, Chris."

The dark-skinned girl shook her head, tears burning hot in her eyes as she hugged me once more and then turned to Marvel to greet him. Around us, everybody got into silent conversations. The pain the broken pieces of Candor felt was almost tactile.

"We all heard the explosion." Christina began sadly. "Then they told us about everything in the news. Four, one of our supervisors during initiation, works in intelligence. He saw it. He saw how hundreds of people died and he couldn't do anything about it." She started to shake and I grabbed her hand to calm her down. If she lost it, I would too. _And I can't let that happen._

Quickly, she wiped away the tears running down her cheeks and forced herself to smile. "Anyways… we ought to be strong here in Dauntless. My parents would be proud of me. I know that. I can't let them down now." In other words, she would cry tonight when she was alone. She would cry a lot. I squeezed her hand tighter.

"Do you know what's gonna happen?" Marvel asked, stroking Christina's back to convey her some comfort.

"I'm not sure. Our leaders have been rather quiet the last few days. They only told us today that a handful of survivors would join our faction. Tris believes that there is something we shouldn't know about. She's my best friend."

I frowned. I wasn't the only one noticing gaps in this so-called _solution_ , how Jeanine had put it.

"But do not let them know I told you that. Anyone questioning our leaders' decisions ends up in a bad condition sooner or later."

"Are they really that… strict?" Marvel asked.

Christina nodded. "Max would be the first one to send you to the factionless. To him, treason begins when you even dare to think about any faction other than Dauntless. And Eric is the worst. You wanna be careful about him and follow his orders. He's a monster. During initiation, he let me dangle of the chasm because I hadn't been strong enough in a fight. I thought I was done for."

"What?" Marvel's eyes widened in shock when I noticed my fingernails digging into my palms again. I hated authorities of any kind – yet another problem I would have to face here in Dauntless.

"I'll tell you more at dinner. I guess they'll show you around this place before they let you eat with us."

I opened my mouth to reply but was interrupted as someone else started talking. Painful silence spread among the crowd of Dauntless and Candor members.

"Alright, listen up."

"Speaking of the devil." Christina murmured. My eyes narrowed. A shiver ran through me, my head almost automatically tilting into the direction this dark voice came from. My lips parted when I caught sight of him.

"I'm Eric. I'll be one of your leaders from now on."

This guy was the living picture of what I had described to Marvel only minutes ago. He was tall, wearing a dark grey jacket that gave away every little detail about his muscles, provoking. His hair was cut short on the sides, the middle part slicked back. Black blocks flaunted on his neck. _Shit._ Tattooing this very part of his body must have hurt like a bitch. Two studs in his ears and two piercings above his right eyebrow completed his intimidating appearance and the look on his face was more than just evil. This guy… was _hot._

"Damn. You told me he's a monster, not that he's handsome." I whispered. Now this was some other kind of distraction. Just for a second, I didn't think about the hot flames licking at my ankles anymore.

"What?"

"He's handsome."

"He's an arsehole!" Christina hissed, grimacing.

"Some handsome arsehole, obviously."

"Are you two done chatting? Or do you need a coffee?" He suddenly mocked. I froze in the moment, wondering if I just got Christina into trouble. Eric hadn't noticed me yet, his eyes were fixed on the dark-skinned girl next to me. I squeezed her hand in an attempt to apologize silently.

"As long as you are here, you will adjust yourself to our lifestyle. We won't be treating you like poor little dogs and we can't have you wandering around our faction without contributing to it."

Not a hint of condolence. He was as cold as ice, almost as if he had expected Candor to be blown up. I swallowed nervously, my gaze briefly drifting over the dark-skinned man next to him. He didn't look very surprised either. Was it Max? "Therefore, you will not only take part in Dauntless events and integrate yourselves in our society but we will also train you to make sure you won't be completely useless in case of an emergency. Lauren and I will show you around."

My mouth went dry listening to these words. I could accept taking part in Dauntless' events and eventually talk to its people. But train us? I couldn't even do a god damn push-up. How was I supposed to be training with _this_ guy? Eric looked like somebody who could crush my body with his bare hands.

I quickly released my lower lip when I tasted blood again and followed the swarm of black and white inside.

"Is he always that considerate?" Marvel asked, irked to the core. Sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

Christina frowned.

"Today's one of his good days."

* * *

Dauntless was huge. It looked like an abandoned amusement park. The whole faction seemed to consist of solid and cool rock. There were twisted staircases, small paths and dark hallways lit in dim blue, an immense training hall with punching bags, weapons and human-shaped targets and, the most impressive thing of them all, the chasm. Southing water on one side of a metal bridge without any handrails, dead water on its other side. Eric told us that at least once a year, somebody threw himself off this vertiginous height to kill himself. Studying his expression as he said that, it was clear his intention was to scare us.

I pressed my lips together as I watched him crossing his muscly arms. _We are Candor. You're not gonna manipulate us, big boy._ I wasn't scared of death. What _if_ I did throw myself of the chasm? Would the pain stop? All the misery I'd been holding back for two years now?

We would be sleeping where usually the initiates stayed to _develop team spirit_ as Lauren had put it. Hence sharing a bathroom wasn't the problem but in my sleep, I preferred to be alone. I never knew when all the grief I kept well hidden in my body would finally break out and make me weak. Make me cry. Maybe I could ask Christina to stay in her apartment.

"Now get changed." Eric announced languidly. "You will need proper clothes here." Grimacing, his gaze wandered over the grey lumps of Abnegation fabrics almost everybody was wearing. Then, out of nowhere, he suddenly caught sight of my piano dress. His beady eyes locked with mine for a second, staring at me rather dismissively before he turned on his heel and walked away.

It was like electricity running through my body while Lauren motioned us to follow her back to the dorms. Blue. His eyes were blue. His eyes were so fucking blue that it hurt. How could somebody so handsome be so ugly inside? I took Christina's word for it. This guy was nobody to mess with.

* * *

After I had changed into some tight black pants, a tank top and a leather jacket and neatly hidden my dress under the pillow of my "new" bed, Lauren led us to the huge dining hall of Dauntless. I was used to a loud environment and people shouting – back in Candor we'd always been vividly debating over general topics but Dauntless was a whole different level. Some of them were sitting on the tables, others jostled next to their eating fellows. Laughing, shouting and clinking of cutlery, plates and metal mugs reached my ears.

My heart stung when I thought about having dinner back home, causing Marvel to wink at me before he waved back at Christina who had risen from her seat for us to find her.

"It's not so different from what we're used to. Maybe if we close our eyes, we can pretend we're still at home and everything is back to normal."

I tried to smile, failing pathetically in the process. My sister would have loved it here. She'd always adored Dauntless. Four more years and she would have taken her aptitude test. This would have been her rightful place once she'd turned sixteen, I just knew.

"Four is going to train you." Christina announced when I let myself fall onto the wooden bench next to her. "He's usually responsible for the initiates who transferred from other factions." She explained.

That being said, there weren't many factions left _._ I could just hope he was only half as cruel as Eric seemed, I thought, my lips curling when I looked at the food on the metal plates in the middle of the long table. Hamburgers, sausages and bread roles were piled on top of each other. It smelled delicious, however, my stomach already protested at the thought of eating any of it.

"He's okay. A bit stiff maybe but he's a good teacher. And he's Tris' boyfriend. You haven't met yet, right? Tris, Greta, Greta, Tris." Christina motioned at the blonde girl sitting opposite me. She was small and rather petite, yet her eyes were full of determination. I immediately figured I liked her when she sympathetically smiled at me.

"Nice to meet you. I'm sorry about what happened."

"Thank you. I feel like you're the first person to say that here in Dauntless." I didn't need any compassion, I was doing just great as long as I was being left alone. It felt good to be understood, though. Tris looked like somebody you could entrust your whole life to.

"You, ehm… you have been in Abnegation after the explosion, right?" With some serious expression on her face, she impaled a hamburger on her fork and placed it on her plate.

"Not right after. I woke up in a hospital in Erudite before I was sent to Abnegation with the other survivors a couple of days later."

"Did you…" She cleared her throat. "Are there… are there many people left? Actually living there, I mean?"

"There were quite a few. They built themselves some extemporary sleeping places within the ruins of their houses and they were eager to help us to recover."

Tris nodded, now suddenly worried.

"We were both there." Christina elucidated. That's what I had assumed. The look on their faces told me everything I needed to know. They'd both been victims of the mind control serum, as we had liked to call it back in Candor. Apparently, Divergents had performed the act, using Dauntless members for their evil purpose – Jeanine had been very precise about that, however, a lie was only as good as its details. Tris seemed to think that, too as her eyes were sparkling mysteriously. In the end, whatsoever, Erudite had been able to stop them. But I guess that was only a half-true either.

"It was horrible. It was like I was sleepwalking. I didn't know what I was doing. I almost shot innocent people, Greta." Christina bit her lower lip while I poured some cool water into my metal mug just so I would consume anything at all. It was indeed terrible. I scared myself by thinking that I'd rather be in her shoes than losing my entire life in just a second.

* * *

When I woke up the next day by some serious-looking Dauntless member – I assumed it was Four – who was almost taking the dormitories apart with his penetrating noise, I realised that it had been a mistake not to eat anything last evening. I had absolutely no energy left in my body and I wondered how I would survive whatever they wanted to put us through today.

Plus, Four looked intimidating. Not as intimidating as Eric but surely like somebody you shouldn't defy either.

Breakfast yet too far away, he told us to head straight to the pit for he could tell us what to expect during the next two weeks. Just like Eric had told us, we would be treated like common initiates – well, as good as.

Marvel shot me an enthusiastic look as we walked outside together. While he was already wide awake, I could barely keep my eyes open and that my dreams had been haunted by the screams of my little sister and hot flames swallowing me as a whole, hadn't really contributed to the pathetic amount of strength I had left – both physically and mentally.

"Are you feeling a little better?" He murmured as we gathered in the pit, which was almost as impressive as the chasm. Huge, rocks and lose metal handrails everywhere I looked.

I shrugged to show at least some sort of reaction. While he might be able to heal by smiling to the world and being open to new things, I refused that I could _feel_ _better_ when I accepted a whole new lifestyle, abandoning about my old one. Last night, the pain in my chest had left me unable to breathe and I'd struggled not to cry in the middle of thirteen other sleeping Candor.

Marvel sighed, his hand briefly brushing against my back. Then, just before Four started talking, I spotted Eric in the background, sitting impatiently on one of the rocks. My heart skipped a beat when I realised what I was thinking. _I was hoping to see him again._

* * *

 **A/N: Being a perfectionist is a curse. I hope this turned out the way I wanted it to be. As always - I'd be flattered to hear... read what you think, let me know!**

 **Love, Stef**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Heyho there my lovelies! I'm so sorry this took me so long. But here it is. Fresh from the roast. *chuckles***

* * *

He didn't wear a jacket today, henceforth making his muscles stand out even more. His forearms were both covered in a complex pattern resembling a labyrinth, with two small circles and the faction symbol of Dauntless in their middle. He impatiently tapped his fingers against the solid rock he was sitting on. Greedily, I stared at the two veins on his upper arms bulging out in the process.

Marvel elbowed me inconspicuously, apparently noticing me staring at the Dauntless leader.

"You heard what Christina said." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. My little sister would have pushed me right into him by now, encouraging me to drag him straight into my room to have a hot make-out session. But my little sister wasn't here. And I didn't have a room to drag someone into anymore. Swallowing hard, I forced my concentration back on Four.

"Good morning, everyone. My name is Four. During the next two weeks, I will be your supervisor and trainer. I normally work in intelligence. I know that all this must be really hard for you but there is nothing to be scared about. We will go easy on you."

 _Easy._ This was going to be many things but certainly not easy.

As he explained the procedures and the infamous two stages of training Christina had already told me about yesterday, my thoughts drifted off. I didn't need to hear that they might hurt us. That they might break us. How could they _possibly_ demand us doing those kind of things? We had lost our _homes._ Technically, we were factionless, partly remnants of former Candor families. Despite Four looked rather gentle compared to Eric, all I felt in this very moment was pure hatred. Towards him, towards the Dauntless leaders, towards the whole faction I had landed in. It felt wrong. Everything just felt so wrong. But I certainly wouldn't have wanted to live with the factionless or what's left of Abnegation. Conforming to the rules Erudite had made up was bad enough already.

"Now keep in mind that this is not initiation. You won't be cut if you don't succeed at some point during our training sessions. Introducing you to our daily routine shall integrate you into Dauntless lifestyle. And–in case of an emergency–you should be able to defend yourself."

I usually defended myself with words. As a lawyer, I outranked almost every single person I fuelled debates with. However, I doubted that words alone would help me around here.

"I'll let you off to breakfast now. We meet again at nine am, right here in the pit. Be punctual. I don't tolerate latecomers."

* * *

"Four looks quite intimidating, too." Marvel said while shovelling scrambled eggs onto his metal plate.

"Well, he is. He only wants you to become good, though." Tris smiled. _Hell, she was in love._ I felt my heart exploding, almost choking on my coffee when my thoughts wandered to Lucas. I was still in love, despite his death. How much time would pass until my heart understood he was gone forever? Then, I almost smiled. The only reason I ever had fallen for this crazy man was a sneaky manoeuvre of my sister. She'd been the queen in setting people up with each other. Just for a second, I laughed. Right before sadness hit me again.

Now this would take a while. I wondered if crying might be the solution. If sobbing once, maybe twice or even thrice hidden in an empty hallway at night would shake off my grief for the rest of my life. I scoffed. Well, that was quite unlikely to happen.

"Four is a wallflower." A strange voice suddenly spoke up. "Disobey him and he might make you go stand in the corner to think about what you did. But disobey Eric and the next second you'll find yourself dangling off the chasm. Right, Christina?"

"Shut up, Peter."

Marvel frowned. Obviously, one of Christina's first encounters with Eric had been quite traumatic and amusing to her fellow ex-initiates. I couldn't blame her. This guy radiated danger like a nuclear power reactor. And it made him interesting. It was like his hazard kept me from feeling despair, like he served as my personal distraction from all the destruction around me. _That's no good._

"You guys should really try hard. It doesn't really look like you're going to return to Candor anytime soon, right?"

"Shut up, Peter!" Christina repeated, this time shouting. I pursed my lips, looking up at this guy in anger.

"I recognise you." I said, frowning as I did and by the look on Tris's face, my eyes had to be sparkling with malice. "You're Peter Hayes. I saw your parents back in the Hub when they brought us here. They looked relieved they didn't have to join the faction their son had transferred to."

Peter's jaw dropped while Christina stifled a laugh and Tris raised her eyebrows. Words could _hurt_ , too. That's also one of the many things I had learned back in Candor. And I certainly wasn't too good-hearted to not take advantage of it.

Just when the Ex-Candor, momentarily defeated, turned away from me, Four joined our table, quickly stealing a kiss from his girlfriend. Tris grabbed his hand almost automatically. I sighed as pain washed through my heart once more.

"This won't be easy." He purred, stroking her fingers.

"I know. But you will do it. And they will, too."

"You know what I think about it. I need to talk to you later. Alone."

"Okay."

Now that sounded serious. Throughout all those years, I had been used to everyone around me to be honest and share their secrets. It felt strange to be kept in the dark now, though I knew there were only hundreds of more things Erudite hadn't told us about as well. Even Eric–as a Dauntless leader, he didn't just look superior. He actually was. _I just knew._

"How are you, Greta?"

I frowned, looking up from my still empty plate to notice Four staring at me with a concerned expression.

"I-… okay, I guess." He threw a look at my plate.

"You should eat. You will need your energy. As much as I would like to spare all of you from training, it is not up to me. Eat."

 _Don't tell me what to do._ I bit my tongue to not speak that defiant thought out loud, for he only meant it well. But I hated authorities–and, I still wondered how I would be able to take orders, especially from a man I was physically attracted to while at the same time, terrible guilt crawled up my body. _You just lost your boyfriend. Act like it._ If I wasn't to cry, I could at least do honour to Lucas and abjure any sexual sensations towards other men.

Scoffing at myself, my fingers grabbed a bread roll to at least chew on _something._ Four was right in the end, I would need my energy. I would need energy to reluctantly live a life I didn't choose and simultaneously try to maintain my hard shell.

* * *

"They're pathetic." I heard Eric growl at Four. He didn't even bother to keep his voice down as he was fiercely ignoring the fact several heads turned to where he stood. His threatening look said it all. _Keep your mouth shut or you will regret it._ I resisted the urge to do neither while my clenched fists pommeled the battered punching bag in front of me.

After breakfast, Four had lead us straight to the training hall and showed us some basic movements and punching techniques for combat fighting. Only twenty minutes had passed, however, it felt like I had been training for several hours already. Sweat was pouring down my body, turning my skin and black new Dauntless clothes into some sticky mess. Whatever was left of my mascara was now streaming straight into my eyes. I blinked a few times, biting my tongue to not smart-mouth off to Eric's comment. I failed miserably.

"That's because we're not fucking Dauntless." I chuntered through gritted teeth only to deafen my words with another aggressive punch.

There was one thing I had to admit–moving my body and doing sports _definitely_ was a considerable way to deal with those stupid feelings that had broken my heart into countless sharp pieces. But that was something I would never speak out loud, yet another secret I would keep to myself. I sighed.

"What was that, Candor? Did you say something?"

What? Oh, fuck. I brought my fist to the punching bag once more.

"No. Nothing."

Eric tucked his chin, crossing his arms in front of his chest. _Shit, his muscles._ Slowly, he walked over to me, stopping far too close for my taste.

"I thought so. You heard what Four said. We won't be treating you any different from our initiates even if we can't throw you out. There's other ways to punish clever clogs. You better keep that in mind, Candor."

Was that… a threat? _Yes, you moron, obviously!_ Was that what Christina had meant, then? Eric probably actually _was_ a beast and my guts told me he didn't even get started yet. _Stupid you!_ Wasn't I suffering enough already? I didn't need a man around making my already shattered life a living hell while I was here–which would result in at least three years. The insight of this filled my body with pain once more, my thoughts quietly scolding me. _Because_ yes _, a man like him was exactly what I needed to survive this._

"You're weak. You kick like a puppy." He continued.

"Right. Thank you." I replied sarcastically, ignoring the sharp look Four shot me subsequently.

"And you don't have any balance. A gust of wind could push you over."

"Well good thing we're training inside then." I knew I was pushing it and that I dug my own grave. _Maybe_ my conscious was right and that's really what I craved for. _Maybe_ that's what would push me straight down the abyss. I should have died alongside my sister in first place. That would have saved me a lot of pain and lastly even sexual tension I neither deserved nor really appreciated.

Guilt washed through me like tidal waves as Eric pursed his lips and I cursed myself for thinking how soft they would feel on mine. What was he doing here anyway? If I had wanted to insult myself, I could have easily stood in front of the mirror and told myself how much of a failure I was. _Which I wasn't._

Angrily, I started punching again.

"Still not enough power. Try harder."

"I'm trying my best!" I shouted. This time, heads turned _my_ way, eyeing Eric's and my heated conversation and anxiously waiting for what would happen. It was obvious the Dauntless leader scared the shit out of every single one in the whole faction.

"Well, your best is not enough." He replied, surprisingly calm. Four commenced shaking his head, trying to warn me one more time. I glared back at him defiantly.

"You're so motivating, thank you."

Eric's jaw clenched. "Yeah? Good then. One more sarcastic comment and you'll be running thirty laps 'round the training hall."

I could certainly need this. If I were Dauntless. But I wasn't. This was ridiculous. _He_ was ridiculous. Luckily, before I could talk back again and get myself into some _serious_ trouble, Four stepped in. I heatedly swallowed down my anger. It felt like a hot fireball caught in my throat.

"Eric, why don't you go check on Max. He said he'll come by today and discuss our further ado with the Candor survivors."

Candor _survivors._ Was that what they wanted to call us now? It made us sound like heroes when actually, we were far from anything even close to it. Eventually, it was just another thing I figured was absurd. The southing water of the chasm became more inviting each second that passed.

"You're not telling me what to do."

Distastefully looking at Eric on the other hand, I was too proud to give in. To take death for granted. At least for now.

"I'm not. I'm asking you to go check on him. I can handle them."

"Oh, can you, _Four_?" I frowned at Eric's tone, my arms already shaking from my aggressive punches. I paused, picking up the tension that had spread throughout the training room. I could literally feel the hatred between the two.

Much to my surprise though, the Dauntless leader eventually gave in, turning away so slowly I took a step back, expecting him to jump on me and take revenge for my lose mouth. But he didn't. And somehow, so I knew, this was just the start of something either really terrible or really thrilling. My heart began to ache. It might as well be both in the end.

* * *

 **A/N: Let's get this started, shall we? As always, reviews are REALLY appreciated! Let me know what you think!**

 **Love, Stef**


	5. Chapter 4

**Heyho there my lovelies! I kept you waiting for so long... again! I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter anyway! :***

* * *

„Are you absolutely insane?"

„Hello to you too. No, I'm not feeling better but thanks for asking." I said calmly, grabbing a spoon and gently putting it onto my food tray. The brown mush on my plate suspiciously looked like meat stew and after pommeling a lifeless punching bag for at least three hours, my appetite had actually took over. I hadn't felt that hungry in days.

"No, don't do that. I _told_ you not to provoke Eric. Do you have a death wish? It's hard enough already with our… I mean your home being destroyed and all, you shouldn't… no, you must not challenge the people who could seriously harm you." Christina clamoured. She was worried about me, yet I had the feeling she only did because I was the only one left she knew from her former faction. Who could blame her. She had lost her parents, after all. _But so did I. I had_ nobody _left._ Nobody I loved.

"How did you even find out?" I sighed, sitting down next to a blonde Dauntless guy. He moved slightly so Christina and I had enough space to eat in peace. In this faction, news seemed to spread like wildfire. No wonder flames were representing it.

"Four told me. You can be lucky he decided to help you. He normally doesn't have any authority here. Standing up to Eric is dangerous, even for him."

"God, Christina, you're talking about Eric like he's a fucking goblin king or something. I appreciate your concern, I really do but nothing of this is your business. I've been through some terrible shit a lot worse than him, I'm not scared." _Another lie._ I really brought shame to what Candor valued.

"You say that because you don't know him."

I grunted. "Can we just agree on that we not agree?"

"No! You don't understand."

"I won't let some smartarse Dauntless leader bully me."

"Well good luck with that." The blonde guy next to me chuckled. "I'm sorry but your conversation is hard to overhear. Chris is right, Eric _is_ dangerous. We all found out about that, eventually. Either the easy or the hard way."

Christina closed her eyes for a second. "With everything that happened… even before Candor was _attacked"_ I cocked an eyebrow at her tone. "We're all on high alert."

The blonde guy nodded. "There's rumours about the Dauntless leaders."

"Mysterious." I scoffed. Sarcasm was dripping from my voice.

"They say they were in on it. That they didn't stop the simulation from happening after they had found out. And that they're working together with Jeanine."

"It wouldn't really surprise me." I said. "Jeanine is a bitch and so is Eric." _Only that he was outrageously hot too._

"Ha, well yeah, that's one way to put it. I'm Dorian." The blonde guy said, holding out his hand for me to shake it. Reluctantly, I took it. I usually only nodded at the people I met. Why was Dauntless all about body contact? But what bothered me even more was that I didn't really mind. And I certainly wouldn't have minded with Eric.

Silently, I scolded myself for my absurd thoughts before I introduced myself.

"Greta."

"I'm uh… sorry about your…"

"Drop it, please." It was bad enough already. I didn't need people I didn't even know to remind me all over.

"Okay then. How's training going?"

 _Better than expected._ "It sucks. I'm not made for fighting." _Hell I was._ "If I do, then I use words."

"You proved that you can do that today." Another voice suddenly spoke up. "Just that you chose the wrong target. You really should stay away from Eric, Greta." I rolled my eyes as Tris and Four sat down opposite Christina and me.

"Will you stop it already."

Tris frowned. "I won't. We all know what Eric is capable of. I trust him to do real bad things if you keep pushing it."

"Fine. I will stop." I would _try_ to stop. "But it won't be easy to keep my mouth shut when he's around being a jerk."

"Well, you better get used to it quickly." Four said before shoving a spoonful of meat stew into his mouth. "He'll be overseeing your training every single day and you caught his attention already."

"Oh come on, Four, I've been in Dauntless less than a day, how can I be in trouble already?"

Maybe they really were just trying to protect me. I looked down at my still full plate. Well, I couldn't help it. I was being taught to tell everyone what's on my mind at any time given. Nobody would tell me it's wrong all of a sudden, besides… I felt like it was too late to retreat anyway. Ugh, now I had definitely lost my appetite again. Unenthusiastically, I picked at my stew.

"You better eat, Greta. After lunch, we'll head out for a run."

"Oh, brilliant." I replied sarcastically, mentally already preparing for aching muscles tomorrow. I wondered how the other Candors here managed to survive this torture. Fortunately, Four didn't pay any more attention to me as he turned his head to Tris.

I pressed my lips together, now being the only one who didn't eat, again. Hesitantly, I picked up my spoon and forced myself to swallow at least a few bites of the brown mush. It tasted unfamiliar, I concluded.

"He says he sees _potential_ in some of them _._ " Four whispered just then. Tris shook her head in disbelief.

"What is he going to do? Recruit them? That's ridiculous." _Agreed._

"Maybe not but you see it yourself. He is literally forcing it on them. As soon as the new initiates arrive, the situation will heat up even more."

I drew my attention back to my plate. Right. The new initiates. Would there even be a choosing ceremony in two weeks? Now, of course there would. Erudite wouldn't let the _Divergents_ destroy our faction system for real, after all. I scoffed in disgust though I ought to be thankful. With new initiates as proper future Dauntless members in the compound, it should be easy for me not to strike. As for now, I shifted uneasily on my seat, feeling unpleasantly like I was being watched. When I got up to put my food tray away and continue Four's torture, I spotted Eric at the other side of the dining hall. His damn blue eyes were on me, boring into me in an intimidating manner and studying my every move.

* * *

To say that it was _ice cold_ outside was more than just an understatement. And with the thin Dauntless clothing we all wore, not even moving prevented us from catching death. Freezing, I tried to hold back the chattering of my teeth. At least I wasn't the only one. Marvel, who was running right next to me, was shaking so much I was wondering how he kept himself from stumbling and Jack Kang's assistant's lips had coloured to an agitatedly blue colour already. Fine, she was the only one wearing no jacket. Back in the _Merciless Mart_ , her looks had been her weapon. I bit my lip in an attempt to stop my scorn and then threw an angry look at Four and Eric's backs, who were running right in front of us, leading us somewhere far away from the compound. However, the longer the way to wherever we were going was, the longer the way back would be as well. With the days growing shorter now, I apprehended that we would return to the pit in absolute darkness.

Pitying myself, I sighed, watching my breath becoming visible in the cold air and closing my eyes in relief when the Dauntless leader finally stopped. A cluster of people gathered around them and I inconveniently noticed us standing dangerously close to an edge.

The view, however, was breath-taking, hardly possible for me to describe in words. My gaze drifted over the beautiful landscape, trying to catch every detail revealing itself to me. The sun, almost hidden behind the mountains in the distance already, drew black lines into the sky, the grey and mangled buildings only shapes in between orange, yellow and a light pink. I felt my jaw drop, the pain in my legs and hips now completely forgotten. Right now, in that very moment, Chicago was _beautiful._

"Are y'all good?" Four called, letting his eye wander over our freezing bodies. A few people nodded whereas I had to press my lips together to not scream some real bad words at him.

"What we hope is that you all realise why we are doing this. We don't want you to troll around like frightened little kittens." I grunted in disagreement, ignoring the hazardous gaze Eric shot me in the process before he continued. "Each and every one here in Dauntless will contribute to our faction. And if you don't want to do that, we will find a way to get rid of you. That's a promise."

He tilted his head towards the abyss in front of us.

"There is a lot you will learn here during training. Skills you will have to develop and crafts you'll have to pick up. The sooner you get familiar with them, the easier it will be. The longer you baulk, the harder it will be. The harder I will _make_ it for you." Eric went on, stepping forward. Defiantly, I looked up at him, mentally already preparing myself for counterattacking despite Four's strict warning.

It didn't even get that far. The moment I felt his strong grip clenching around my wrist, it was too late already. With one fitful pull, he tossed me off the cliff, preventing me from falling with only his right hand. If I let out a scream, I didn't notice–unlike the others. Jaws dropped, steps were taken back and silent gasps became audible. _Idiots._

"Reaction!" Eric shouted, smiling mischievously as he looked down at me, almost disinterested. "…will be the most important thing for you to acquire." He seemed bored, I figured. Not as if he was holding an actual human over a fucking edge, only mere inches from death. "Giving you a little head start." He added a little more quietly.

Panicking, I began struggling, glaring at the bottom of the cliff miles beneath me. Fear shot through my body like hot daggers. What if he actually dropped me?

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Eric?! Pull me back up, you stupid prick! I swear, I'll…"

"You're in a real bad position to call me names right now, Candor."

" _Fuck you_ , Eric!" If I split on a rock… would anybody bother to bury my remains? I doubted it. As my breath became irregular and I felt dizziness taking over, his right hand lifted me up again like I weighed nothing. Swallowing, I ignored the tension of his muscles, a vein bulging out in the process.

 _Seriously, how strong was this guy?_

"Let's head back now. It's getting dark. We'll spend the rest of the day practising dodging methods. After eight, you can do whatever the hell you want but we won't have regards for anyone who didn't get enough sleep." Four announced, ignoring me viciously flashing at him.

 _As if we could sleep at all._ I huffed, rubbing my aching wrist and ignoring how his touch had felt on my ice cold skin. There wasn't much of hope for me not to suffer from terrible pain up my whole arm tomorrow.

But it worked, I figured, when I turned on my heel and slowly began running with the others again. For only a couple seconds–my life in unbelievable danger–I had completely forgotten about the loss of my sister, faction and boyfriend. And maybe… if I kept being that reckless, Eric would mutate to what I would not only call my personal distraction but also my personal cure.

* * *

My head rested on the thin pillow on the lame excuse for a bed I was laying on, trying to cover my already mangled body from training with a thermal blanket. It was past curfew and Four's rather calming voice had ordered us to shut down the lights in less than ten minutes.

A sigh escaped my lips, and I flinched as I felt pain shooting through my body.

"So?" Marvel asked, making himself comfortable on the bed next to mine.

"So what?"

"Are you ok? Eric almost killed you."

I rolled my eyes. "I feel like Eric is the only thing everybody is asking me about."

"Except for he's not a thing." Marvel giggled. "Considering he _is_ human, that is." I held back a mischievous grin.

"I'm fine. Maybe I shouldn't be but right now, I'm fine. It feels… so easy to disobey him just to be distracted from everything that happened." I admitted, testing out what my thoughts sounded like when spoken out loud.

Marvel nodded, his eyebrows arching comprehensibly.

"Just be careful, Greta. We all want to be honest but Eric doesn't really look like a person accepting any other truths than his own."

He had a point there. And now that I had found a way to approach the Dauntless leader, I wanted to keep pushing it, just as Four had said. _To the breaking point._

* * *

 **Oh dear, we are in trouble... are we? ;)**

 **As always, I can't wait to read what you think!**

 **Love, Stef**


	6. Chapter 5

**Heyho there my lovelies! I know, I know, it took me so long but there was just so much going on recently. And I might got lost on Tumblr a bit, too. You should visit me and fangirl with me there - sserpente! Anyway, thank you all for your lovely reviews, it really means a lot. Now... enjoy reading! :)**

* * *

 _I woke from hot pain licking my ankles. Fire. There was fire everywhere in the house, surrounding me, trapping me inside. It caught the white fabric of my piano dress, turning it into some ugly dirt-brown. I coughed, my eyes already tearing from the poisonous smoke._

I'm going to burn. I'm going to be burned alive. I'm going to die.

 _The panic-fuelled scream that escaped my lips was only half as loud as my sister's. Tears were streaming down her wet cheeks when I found her in between the hot flames, her eyes widened in shock._

 _"_ _Help me!" she screamed. "Help me!"_

 _I couldn't. The fire turned to steel beneath my feet, embracing my whole body. Slowly, I felt it crawl up my back, singing my black hair._

Helpless. Helpless. Helpless. Weak.

 _Another ear-piercing shriek echoed through the shattered house, making me yell out in both pain and devastation. I looked up, blinking away the tears in my own eyes. Her face was gone. All I saw was raw, scorched flesh, fresh blood streaming out of her eyes, the pale bones of her skull coming through. The fire had taken her. It had destroyed her._

 _"_ _Come back to me! Please come back to me, don't be dead!" My voice sounded different. I coughed once more, panic rushing through my body when I tasted ash in my mouth._

 _Then I fell, straight to the ground, right into the hot flames, crying out so loud it ached my own ears. I was ash. A warm pile of ash. The fire had won._

* * *

I jerked awake, almost hitting my head on the cold metal of my new bed and panting heavily in the process. _A dream. It was only a dream._ Unconsciously, my sweaty hands reached for my ankles to feel the sore wounds of my burnings. _A dream._

My sister was dead. My faction destroyed. They were all gone and yet I was here, close to what people would call _safe_ in Dauntless.

Only slowly my eyes got used the impervious darkness surrounding me. Though being this close to earth, deep down in the core of huge buildings, I rarely ever saw sunlight. Still, I figured that it must have been about two am in the morning.

Silently cursing, I closed my eyes shut again, forcing sleep to come while simultaneously trying not to spill tears onto my pillow. _You do not cry._ _You_ never _cry._ I lay awake for the rest of the night.

* * *

Of course, I couldn't have been the only one who smart-mouthed off to Eric at any possible time given. I met Dorian after breakfast the next morning and from what he told me, it seemed like the scary Dauntless leader pushed people off terrible heights at least once a year. I assumed he had a reputation to uphold –and, although the concept itself was ridiculously insane–it worked. Dorian was twenty-fucking-three and _still_ afraid of Eric. I wondered if Four feared him, too but, after seeing the meaningful looks he occasionally threw him, he obviously wasn't.

"Are _you_ scared of him?" Dorian asked me while spreading butter on his bread roll. I shook my head, however, the truth was that I didn't really know.

Stretching my aching arm, I pressed my lips together, mentally scolding myself for yet another lie. The pile of untruths was huge already and though I personally didn't mind, my inner Candor and pride for my now former faction suffered from my dishonesty.

But this wasn't the problem. The problem was me moving on thin ice.

"Maybe you chose the wrong faction. You're a little dare-devil. You would have done well in Dauntless." Dorian said, winking at me before lustily biting into his bread roll. As he chewed with relish, all I could do was shake my head once more. _Me, Dauntless. Sure._

I knew that what I was doing was neither healthy nor smart and I slowly began to wonder how my aptitude test could have possible resulted in Erudite. As far as I was concerned, I was being ridiculously stupid. I sounded just like my little sister finally understanding her Math homework. Pain shot through me as I thought of her.

* * *

After breakfast, Four demanded us to meet on the rooftop. My undeniable fear of heights confirmed itself once more as I climbed the metal stairs with the rest of Candor survivors.

"Your task today. Watch and learn. We will only show you once."

I took a step back when I spotted the huge gun in his hands, human-shaped orange targets in the background. Next to him was Eric. His expression was as unreadable as ever as I watched him glaring at us in a grimly manner, fully aware of that Four would _indeed_ have to show us whatever he was going to show us _at least_ twice.

Biting my lip, I took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on how to load, unload, cock and wield a gun. And of course, my nervous gesture didn't go unnoticed. Eric's gaze drifted right over to me as soon as I'd moved even the slightest. I immediately felt my heart beat increasing.

"Does it still hurt?" He asked quietly, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

My eyes narrowed to slits. "Yes." I answered through greeted teeth. And my reaction was clearly amusing him. Eric laughed for only the fraction of a second–I could literally feel the mockery in his voice.

"Good."

I felt my fingernails digging into my palms, now completely blending out what Four had to say. Furiously, I forced my concentration back on him, not wanting to admit that the rage Eric caused me to feel was much more bearable than the destroying pain I had felt last night.

Before I even realised what was happening, our supervisor had thrust heavy guns in our hands, leaving us startled and uneasy. I know he expected us to shoot at the mangled targets right in front of us, but fortunately, I wasn't the only one hesitating.

"Now keep in mind that we don't want you to be perfect sharp-shooters. In case of a fight or a riot – and after everything that happened, we must assume this –, you should be able to defend yourself and handle a gun the right way."

I clenched my fingers around the cold metal, certain that whatever Dauntless had in petto for us had nothing to do with self-defence and protection. The look on Eric's face said it all.

In case of a fight, they wanted us to _kill_ and _harm_ so we wouldn't be entirely useless in the faction. I resisted the urge to gag in disgust. There were a lot people I would have been willing to strangle but actually murdering somebody, ending a human's life by effortlessly pulling a trigger…

 _I already killed one person. No. It was a_ dream _._

"Now line up. Go practice." Four announced. As the others slowly divided, my feet seemed to turn to lead. Marvel had to push me forward so I would move. Well, it wasn't like we actually had a choice.

"Come on, Greta. Eric is looking at us already."

Eyeing him angrily, I bit my tongue.

"Is there a problem?" He asked, frowning in the process and ignoring that the other Candor survivors had pulled away from their targets, relieved about the distraction. I took a deep breath.

"No, Eric. Not at all. There is no problem." Taking a step back and almost bumping into Marvel, he inched closer to us and let his cold stare wander down my whole body. Mentally, I already prepared for some sarcastic and insulting comment.

"You watch yourself, Candor. If I were you, I wouldn't stumble another time."

"Stumble?" I opened my mouth in protest but he cut me off.

"You're in Dauntless here." _You don't say._ "Dauntless obey to rules and they take orders. And they certainly do not question their leaders." His voice had gotten dangerously quiet. He was so close I could have kissed him.

"You're not my leader." Marvel squeezed my arm to make me stop but it only fuelled the rage inside of me. "I'm Candor. I will always be Candor and just because a prick like you thinks he can teach us how to shoot innocents so his faction won't feed us in vain, it doesn't mean I'll have to follow your orders."

It was true. Every single word I had just said. Besides, fighting with Eric calmed me down. The anger distracted me. I watched his jaw clenching, with Four in the background shaking his head reproachfully.

"It means just that, Candor. You're stepping on a fine line."

"Oh? So calling you names will get me in trouble again?" The big bad Eric couldn't take criticism. It wasn't surprising–not really, after all, but if he could dish, he should be capable of taking it himself as well. Just because he was a leader, it didn't mean he could walk around bullying people at a whim. Candor was about justice, after all.

"You can find out. I won't stop you." He said, tucking his chin. It seemed like he was joking though he made it clear he was being dead-serious. And that he wouldn't hesitate to punish me in the most disgracing ways possible. Now I knew. I wasn't scared. There was nothing I had left to lose.

"I know there's something wrong here with your rules and so-called _solution_ and trust me, I will find out what. Sooner or later I will know _all_ of your dirty little secrets." I continued. _I'm threatening him._ Was I pushing it too far? I swallowed hard, waiting for his response. He took some extra time on purpose.

"Well, if that is what you think, you might as well just leave and join the factionless. I'd be careful with my assumptions and not forget who I'm talking to if I were you." Still, Eric was surprisingly calm, yet when I looked straight into his damn blue eyes, they were glistening with peril, his penetrating glare piercing every inch of my body. _I had definitely pushed it too far._

"You'd do a lot of things differently if you were me, so it seems." Trying not to lose it, I turned on my heel to join the other Candor, carefully avoiding to go anywhere near him again, for he couldn't let me dangle off some hazardous edge again. He let it go. For now. Marvel shook his head.

"You are insane, Greta. We all disagree with their methods. But if the rest of Candor survivors were able to internalise that, then you can, too."

I scoffed, carefully cocking my gun just like Four had shown us. As I pulled the trigger for the first time, the bullet didn't even go near my target but hit the brick wall behind it. A sigh escaped my lips. Holding a gun felt strange and powerful. I was almost glad I didn't hit my target.

"Have you heard any news?" Seeking for more distraction, I turned my head to Marvel who had just managed to shoot the dummy's face.

"Candor news? No. Nothing. They found a lot of… corpses but no more survivors. I think they would have showed up by now anyway. Days have passed. _If_ there's still someone buried beneath all the rubble out there, it'd be short of a miracle for them to still be alive."

I nodded sadly, focusing on the human-shaped target again. The next bullet hit the metal tube it was stuck on.

"I wonder what it will be like when the initiates arrive." I said, closing one eye to aim a little better. Marvel shrugged.

"I don't think that it will be any different from now." He replied. "They might pay more attention to them than they will to us but that doesn't mean they'll leave us alone. You've heard Eric." I _had_ heard Eric, and more than just once.

"I heard you last night." He then continued, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes before pulling the trigger once more. Dead centre. My heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

"The nightmares. I heard you. You were mumbling you were sorry. That the fire was too hot and you were scared to be burned alive. That you felt helpless."

 _No._ Eric was standing way too close. If he heard I was having bad dreams about what had happened in Candor, he would do everything in his power to use it against me. Vigorously, I shook my head.

"Not here. Please."

"Yeah. Sorry. Listen, Greta, if you need somebody to talk… I'm here."

"Of course. Thank you."

When I pulled the trigger the next time, I threw a furtive look in Eric's direction instead of concentrating on the dummy. He was just slating Jack Kang's assistant for accidentally pointing her gun at him while turning around. Then suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch, his damn blue eyes were boring into mine. Almost confused, I bit my lower lip, feeling a hint of guilt because I enjoyed being so reckless toward him. Both Marvel and Christina were right. I was insane.

After two more hours, Four finally commanded us to stop and have lunch break after which we would be continuing combat training and climbing. Relieved, I put my gun to the ground, stretching my tensed muscles. Although I hadn't managed to hit the target more than twice, the heavy metal in my hands didn't feel too unpleasant anymore. _I will simply refuse to shoot any living being._ , I thought stubbornly.

"We'll meet you back in the pit." Eric announced. "Now get out."

Four stepped out of view as all Candor nodded silently, putting down their guns as if they would explode when dropped too fast (which wasn't actually that far-fetched) and formed a dark crowd heading for the metal staircase that led back downstairs. I followed them until a hand suddenly firmly gripped my strained arm, making me wince because of the hot pain instantly spreading in my whole body. Reluctantly, I lifted my gaze to spot Eric, electricity streaming through my whole body at the very sight of him. I was immediately reacting to his touch. _Shit, this was_ not _supposed to happen._

"Not you, Candor. You stay and tidy up a little." He motioned at the guns and scattered bullets on the asphalt, the corners of his mouth quirking in an amused manner. _Oh, he was holding back a scornful grin._

"Are you kidding?" They had janitors for that. Of course they had fucking janitors for that.

I flinched at the murderous glare he threw me in response. Eventually, he let go of me, though his damn blue eyes never left mine.

"If this is your definition of making people regret their _lose mouth_ , then you're far from impressing me, _Eric._ "

Again, at least five seconds passed until he finally replied. "I didn't even get started yet, Candor." And with that, he left me alone on the roof, fully aware of my fear of heights (whereby some bullets had landed _hazardously_ close to the edge).

By the looks of it now, I could forget about a well-deserved lunch break. _A painstaking side effect of this crazy thing I dared to call cure._ This was just great. Not by any stretch of imagination did I know if this mental Eric-treatment did good or bad to me. However, I expected the latter.

* * *

 **Oh, he really is just getting started! ;) As always - let me know what you think! :*  
**

 **Love, Stef**


	7. Chapter 6

**Heyho there my lovelies! Let's continue, shall we? As usual, thank you so much for your sweet reviews! Enjoy! :-)**

* * *

Breakfast, training, running, punching, climbing, lunch break, dodging, shooting. The next couple of days were so exhausting I had lost count of all the multiple training sessions Four agonised us through.

Forcing us into Dauntless lifestyle surely had one advantage: we had no time to mope about although I had spotted Candor members several times already, crying in a corner when they thought that nobody was looking. And every time, my heart shrank a little further. I still wouldn't cry. Crying symbolised weakness. And I didn't want to be weak. I could deal with my nightmares all alone, when nobody was listening. Except for Marvel, that was.

However, I figured I developed a whole new problem. While I used every possible opportunity to sass Eric's rules, whatever they were, I found myself checking him out more and more often. And shit, physically being attracted to him had definitely not been part of the plan. I felt guilty–every time I looked into his damn blue eyes, I was reminded of Lucas' green ones.

I had dreamt of him last night. About him trying to save me and my sister, before he'd turned into a burning corpse screaming my name. I swallowed hard, trying not to think about it. It was okay. I simply wouldn't approach Eric in any physical way. Not again. My fear of heights stopped me from doing so anyway… if he wouldn't think of a more cruel way to punish me. The last couple of days though, he'd been surprisingly reserved.

Today, we were practising knife throwing. Right in front of us, about fifteen feet away, I spotted blue lit wooden walls with human shapes carved into them. When Four had shown us how to do it properly, it had looked easy–far too easy. The first knife I threw myself didn't even land _near_ the target in front of me.

My eyes narrowed when somebody chuckled behind me.

"Try aiming." Dorian said with an amused expression on his face, grinning as I turned around to face him. Holding back a smile myself, I rolled my eyes. In the whole faction, he'd become one of the very few people who could instantly cheer me up.

"I'm _trying_ , dickhead."

He chuckled again, this time even louder. I enjoyed the cheerful sound although I was quite upset about the fact Dauntless members were wandering around the training hall while we were taught all this serious shit they already knew about.

"I missed you at lunch earlier. Did Eric make you clean something up again?"

"What? No, I just… I wasn't hungry." _I had fallen asleep and dreamt of fire zombies._

"He's being strangely gentle with his punishments." Dorian said, pressing his lips together. I grunted as my fingers traced the cold metal of the table next to me. "I don't trust him. I feel like he's just warming up."

His exact words had been _I didn't even get started yet_ after all and I'd been wondering when "yet" would be ever since. I needed to know when to make a run for it. Had it been a warning? An idle threat?

"Well I guess that's his technique. You never know what you're up to when it comes to him. He takes revenge when you least expect it." The blonde grinned at me. "You know, at first I thought you're completely nuts… and I felt bad because of what's happened to you but now… now I reckon that you're brave. Maybe you are Dauntless and you just never knew."

"You're not the first person telling me that."

"And who knows… maybe you'll also be the first person to kick Eric's arse." Stifling the sudden hysterical laughter in my throat was impossible as such. My hand flew to my mouth while Dorian only giggled. Unluckily for us though, Eric himself noticed the fun we were having just now at his expense. I felt my heart pounding when he spoke up.

"Is there something amusing you, Candor?" My smile faded away in an instant as I opened my mouth in an attempt to reply. Dorian, however, was quicker.

"No." He replied, biting his lip so he wouldn't burst out in laughter. "Sorry, Eric. I guess I just made her happy for a second." He giggled under his breath, yet too intimidated to look the Dauntless leader directly in the eye.

"Well then she can happily run ten laps 'round the training hall to warm up and _aim_ better." Eric snapped, his eyes resting on mine for a bit too long. Silent curses left my mouth when I felt the familiar electric shocks flashing through my body.

"I didn't even do anything, _Eric._ "

"You were laughing. That's reason enough to me. Now get going or I'll make it twenty laps."

I opened my mouth once more but was roughly interrupted when Dorian elbowed me. Hard.

"I'm sorry. Just do what he says. I'll see you again for dinner." He whispered, winking at me before he turned to leave.

"Hopefully." Sighing, I started running, ignoring the confused looks the other Candor gave me and painstakingly ignoring how Eric was watching my every move. I bet he counted how many laps I actually ran and would only love to reprimand me if I skipped one.

* * *

 _Zoom._ Not even close. _Zoom._ I cursed myself. _Zoom._ It didn't get stuck in the wall but at least I had hit the body, right?

"Bend your throwing arm a bit more, Greta." I heard Four say behind me. So I did. But when the goddamn knife _finally_ got stuck in the wall, it still hadn't hit the actual target.

"Oh, come on." Snorting as inconspicuous as possible, I took another knife. My right arm was hurting already. Impatiently, I glanced at the huge clock behind me on one of the pillars. _Ten more minutes until dinner._

 _Zoom._ The weapon in my hand landed on the hard ground. A loud clinging echoed through the room.

"How about hitting the target, Candor." I flinched–hoping he hadn't noticed and swallowed my anger in an attempt not to talk back again. I failed pathetically, especially after I could feel Eric's hot breath in my neck.

"How about shoving it up your arse." I murmured, gnashing my teeth. The Dauntless leader froze in an instant, I didn't even have to turn to him to tell. All of a sudden, everything around me seemed to slow down, though I wasn't really sure if it was because of him standing so close to me or the fact that I had just gotten myself in some massive trouble.

"What was that?" Quiet. Quiet was always dangerous, especially with this muscly man behind me.

Before I could reply, albeit, I was interrupted yet again, this time by Four. He crossed his arms, clearing his throat so all Candor members stopped in mid-action.

"Guys, I think that's it for today. Let's call it a night." A relieved sigh escaped my lips. Way too loud. As I turned away to join the others outside to have dinner, Eric grabbed my arm again. Instantly, I felt my whole body heating up, his long fingers burning my skin.

"Not for you, Candor."

 _No, no, no physical contact!_

"I think I asked you a question." He declared as he let go, still surprisingly calm.

Dorian had been right. This was his technique. Fighting back when you least expected it, when you least envisaged it.

"I chose not to reply."

I was playing with fire–different from the dangerous flames in our house. This fire… it was _healing_ me.

"Who are you?"

"What?" I frowned, crossing my arms.

"Who are you." He repeated, mirroring my indignant movement.

Now what would happen if I played along?

"... a Candor. A proud Candor?" To my surprise, he nodded.

"And where are you right now?"

 _Keep playing._

"In Dauntless."

"Right… and who am I?"

I suppressed a laughter, enjoying how pleasant it felt to use my risible muscle again–even if it probably wasn't at all appropriate right now.

"You do not want me to answer that." I said, arms now akimbo, waiting for him to continue.

When he raised his voice, I took a step back–for safety reasons only, of course.

"I'm your leader. That means you follow my orders. Stop smart-mouthing me."

"I will when you stop mocking me." I interrupted him harshly. Now that was a lie. I knew I wouldn't stop and give up on the only thing that kept me from sobbing in the hallways when people when I felt unseen.

"I've been gentle with you, Candor. After… losing your home… and your family…" He didn't sound compassionate at all. "I went easy on you but you better don't push it." He warned me, his blue gaze boring into my dark eyes. I clenched my fists while trying to get rid of the powerful feeling rushing through me as he did.

The snappy meaning of his words, on the other hand, made me angry. He was taunting me. Taunting me with pleasure, being indelicate to the core. I felt my fingernails dig into my palms while at the same time I cursed myself, for his dark and dangerous voice kept sending pleasant shivers down my spine.

"Fine." I finally said through gritted teeth, ready to leave the training hall. Once more, he held me back–it was when I noticed that we were the only two people left in here. If he was going to inflict some serious pain on me, there wouldn't be any witnesses now. _Shit._

"You stay here and keep practising. You can leave once you've hit every single target, dead centre."

"What? That's going to take ages!" And still, I couldn't _believe_ I was actually even _considering_ obeying him. Perhaps I didn't have that much of a choice but I certainly wouldn't give in that easily either.

"So what?"

"You do realise you made me _run_ around the training hall when the others were practising already? It's your fault I lost time."

"I know." He said simply, sitting down on the metal table and crossing his arms. He was waiting. For me to collapse, throw a tantrum or to finally throw those bloody knives, I wasn't sure.

Grunting, I turned on my heel, scoffing in an irked manner and trying to ignore his scrutinizing gaze in my back as I got into position, prepared… and failed.

"You want me to show you how it's done?"

I frowned, glaring back at him. As if he was going to help me.

" _Sure_."

Eric uttered a sigh behind me. Hearing him mutter "pathetic" under his breath, I clenched my fists and picked up the next knife, gritting my teeth in the process when suddenly I felt his hands grabbing my waist.

 _What._ _No. No, no, no, let go of me!_ This was wrong. He felt protective, warm… strong… goose bumps covered my skin as I licked over my lower lip, beginning to wonder what those hands would do to my body if I lay in front of him in his bed, fully exposed and… _no. No, stop!_

The knife I was about to throw slipped out of my sweaty fingers, landing several metres from the actual target.

A loud clatter echoed through the training hall.

Eric stifled an amused chuckle. "You didn't call that throwing, now did you?"

His hands were still on me and with every second that passed, I didn't want him to release me anymore. _Shit_.

Hastily spinning around to face him angrily, however, happened to be an even bigger mistake. I caught sight of his burning and intimidating gaze immediately, his damn blue eyes having my legs go jelly as I felt my heart skipping one beat after another.

 _So much for no physical contact, damn it._

"Keep your arm steady. And don't stand there like a tin soldier. You have to be flexible. Don't just move your arm that stiffly, use your whole body."

Did I nod? I couldn't tell.

"Throw."

And I hit the target.

* * *

 **Trouble? ;-)**

 **\- Stef**


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